Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pimping Pancakes For Politicians

palin Pictures, Images and Photos

Today's recipe is inspired by this amazing work of art that I came across in my daily search for more things to admire about our favorite gun-toting, slick winking, hard-talking MILF for president. OF COURSE, Sarah is capable of balancing pancakes on her head! Look at the great job she did multi-tasking her demands as wife, mother, hunter, author, VP candidate...ah, the list goes on. If only I could do as much but alas, I know that the place I do my best work is...IN THE KITCHEN.

Why should big business and lobbyists have all the fun? Ladies, we should all be doing our part for politicians! They sacrifice so much for us! I feel so blessed!

So what better way to raise money than a good old fashioned pancake feed? Not just for kids with leukemia or car accident victims anymore! Bring the guilt induced pocketbook emptying to the next level by charging eight dollars a plate for 24 cents worth of food! GENIUS!

Moose sausage is optional.

sarah palin Pictures, Images and Photos

Here's my favorite pancake recipe that's sure to please...

1 C Caucasian flour
1 TBSP. sugar
1 tsp. Baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 egg, beaten as hard as the Democrats this November
1 C buttermilk or sour milk
2 TBSP. oil

Combine flour sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In center of flour mixture make a dimple. (How cute!) Combine egg, buttermilk, and oil and add all at once in the center of the flour. Stir til' moist, add milk to thin if necessary.

Pour about 1/4 C batter onto hot and lightly greased skillet. If you need help with this amazingly complex and difficult recipe, please email me for assistance.

Have a great time WHORING pancakes for Politicians! YOU ROCK!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Pork and Apple Sausage Patties: Breakfast of Berserkers

This recipe is one of my favorite things to feed my MANLY meat-eating-ass-kicking sons and husband before they go out into the world of vegetarians and Anti-Christ religions. Americans need their strength in these frightening times and what better way to provide it than PIG! Enjoy.

1 1/2 TBSP. Olive Oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 C. chopped Granny Smith Apples
1 pound ground pork
1/3 C fresh sage leaves
1/4 tsp each salt and pepper
Pinch of cinnamon

Heat 1 Tbsp. of oil and cook chopped onion until translucent and tender. Add apples and cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and cool.
Combine pork with onion-apple mixture and remaining ingredients. Form into 1/2 inch round patties.
Okay, here's the EXCITING part!
Brown patties for 2 min on each side over medium high heat. Then transfer to the oven and bake until cooked through.(Approximately 10 minutes) Serve immediately and congratulate yourself on your superiority.
Porky Pig roasting away Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Crock Pot Sweet Potatoes With Butternut Squash



1 Lrg. Sweet potato
1 Butternut Squash
2 Tbsp. Butter
1/4 C Olive Oil
1 Tbsp. Chopped fresh or Dried Rosemary
1/4 tsp. Black Pepper
1/4 tsp. Salt

Peel, Seed, and Chop squash and potatoes into 3/4 inch chunks. Combine all other ingredients and drizzle over vegetables in crock pot. Get your hands in there, even if you have no idea what you're talking about and coat well. Cook on low for 4 to 6 hours. Serve with something your family really LOVES because they will be sure to hate these, especially young children. Sleep well knowing you forced your kids to ingest more vitamins than their friend's mothers did. YOUR KIDS ARE BETTER! YOU WIN!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Solving Resource Surplus in the Home With Banana Bread


A great recipe to rid your home of those nasty migrant picked bananas that are getting spotty and soft because your family has such a huge amount of food that they just can't eat them fast enough.

3 migrant labor picked bananas, going soft and brown
2 C white flour
1/2 C shortening
2 eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 C sugar
1 tsp. salt

Cream shortening and sugar together. Add eggs and beat mixture like Rodney King. Add bananas and nuts, if desired. Pour into 2 greased loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 min.